Here is my first sermon for my homiletics [teach me to preach] class. I’m glad to report it was well received. Father Serge, my professor, doesn’t require citations but I was inspired by online sources that led me to this quote from Blessed Mother Teresa “God doesn’t ask that we succeed in everything, but that we are faithful. However beautiful our work may be, let us not become attached to it. Always remain prepared to give it up, without losing your peace.”
Follwoing is the text for my sermon, which I am required to proclaim before I preach. Proclamation has special meaning to Father Serge. He believes that our sacred texts hold the word of God and since Jesus is the Living Word of God, it somehow holds Jesus, too. In addition, we perform a sacramental act when we speak God’s words; we need to make them come alive. It is an invitation for Jesus’ real presence as we remember that when two or three are gathered in his name, he will be with us. Father Serge should teach “Proclamation” classes for the whole church! Sunday mornings would be livelier.
A reading from the letter by Paul to the community at Corinth 2 Corinthians 6.1-10
As we work together with Jesus, we urge you also not to accept the grace of God in vain. For he says, ‘At an acceptable time I have listened to you, and on a day of salvation I have helped you.’
See, now is the acceptable time; see, now is the day of salvation!
We are putting no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, but as servants of God, we have commended ourselves in every way: through great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger;
by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, holiness of spirit, genuine love,
truthful speech, and the power of God;
with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left;
in honor and dishonor, in ill repute and good repute.
We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; as unknown, and yet are well known; as dying, and see—we are alive; as punished, and yet not killed; as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
“Faithfulness, not success” reads the plaque in my spiritual director’s office.
Not long ago while working with Donna, the treasurer in my parish, I offended her. Donna was brave enough to tell me I had hurt her feelings. I apologized and acknowledged that I done just that. At the end of our conversation, Donna said that I apologized rather well. I confessed that this wasn’t the first time I had occasion to apologize and with all the experience I had, I was glad to learn that I was acquiring some skill. Through our conversation, we experienced the grace of God’s love and became even closer friends. That was the acceptable time; that was a day of salvation!
On another occasion, I was serving as the senior warden of our vestry. In my tradition, this is the chair of the church’s governing lay board. The vestry was dealing with sensitive personnel issues and we had a group agreement of confidentially; what’s said in the executive sessions stays in the executive sessions. One of our members broke the group agreement of confidentially. I discussed this openly and directly with her during one of the meetings. This was not successful. I hurt her and I think I damaged the group even as I was trying to strengthen our commitment to each other and to the work God had given us to do. This member left the community. No effort of my part has yet created reconciliation between us. A time for me of dishonor and ill repute.
“Faithfulness, not success.” Oh, but reconciliation is so very sweet! It is as refreshing as the morning dew. I know you can hear the regret that I still have for my failure.
Paul calls us to faithfulness in our work as God’s servants. Paul begs us to show we possess worthwhile qualities—the qualities of endurance, knowledge, patience, kindness, and genuine love—all through the power of God. These are the core qualities of faithfulness.
“Faithfulness, not success.” Whether we succeed or fail on a particular task is often out of our control. That’s why, no matter how much we succeed, there is ultimately no peace in it. It’s never quite enough. In fact, often with great success we are less peaceful and less faithful. We come to rely on our success so much that we live in fear of failure and loosing the trappings of success. And what about the times when we can’t see success; when we don’t even know what success might be under the difficulties we face?
On the other hand, our faithfulness is under our control. No matter what happens in this world – who becomes Governor of California, whether or not I have a job, if I lose my savings, if I'm never ordained as a priest, if no community ever calls me to be their priest, – I can still pray to remain faithful. That is always under my control.
We know what it means to be faithful. Paul tells us as servants of God, we can give ourselves in every way to purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, and holiness of spirit, genuine love, truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left.
And this is what God asks. Faithfulness and not success. This is the ultimate peace in life; the peace that passes understanding. When we are immersed in tears, yet always filled with deep joy; when we are poor, yet making many rich; when we have nothing, and yet have it all. This is what we were made to do. Alleluia!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Who am I now? Homesick for myself? September 2010 thoughts
My summer was good and colored by the grief of saying good-bye to my old self and adopting or transforming into a new identity. This ordination track has been filled with peaks and valleys, joys and sorrows, transformation and concentration of essence. So it is just like life itself. Somehow, when I am seeking the Holy I still cling to the idea it will be set aside from life’s petty problems, which, of course, is baloney-both the setting aside and the pettiness of life’s problems. Since I have been working toward the goal of ordination, I have seen my old life recede and a new life come to the fore. With my time at St. John’s as an intern last academic year and my leaving in August for school, the shift has been sharper.
Once at a personal growth seminar, the leader posed the scenario of ‘what would be the first things you would do if plunked down with a small nest egg in an English speaking city unknown to you?’ My first thought was I would get business cards printed and then find a place to sleep and work. My work as a tax consultant and financial advisor has been central to my identity. For 35 years, I’ve had a desk filled with the tools of my trade.
Two years ago, I transferred the ownership of the bulk of my practice to my daughter, Susan. Yet the transfer of the business felt like it was paperwork primarily and the clients and I continued to work together without change. Now with me in Berkeley, Susan will move the offices around and I will no longer have my own office. I cleaned out my desk in August. It was very difficult. I am still involved in the business, working remotely from Berkeley, still talking with clients. However, at a distance, and not as my primary focus.
I wonder if it is harder to seek ordination when the life before was good and well developed. I have always loved my work even though, of course, it is sometimes hard and problematic as work often is. Why this seeking?
My life is/was good—a partner who loves me and whom I love, two children who are finding their own ways as adults, a dog of perfection to remind me of God’s love for creation—myself included, work that was of service, personally satisfying and met my economic needs, a faith community that was nourishing me and hopefully I was nourishing them. With a life so rich and satisfying, why was I called to spend so much money and so much time changing everything? Grief and fear kissed each other, and caught me in their embrace.
I’ve thought about the decision to continue on this track and what the decision means to my intimate family. In some ways, I have felt comfortable making major decisions since they would only really affect me. (Oh foolish me, as if any decisions in my life only affect me.) The results of this decision are becoming clearer. I will be of less financial assistance to my children and to the organizations I have supported. My partner, Kathleen, will work several years longer and have a less secure retirement. I will not do many things that had been part of my vision of my own retirement like learning to paint, traveling, and continuing to live in my current home. Kathleen and I will spend extended time away from each other. And for what? Will my work as a priest be worth it?
What was I thinking? On the other hand, perhaps this was one of the times I wasn’t thinking. That’s happened before.
Taking all these thoughts, fears, and concerns to God has helped tremendously. I had a chance to preach at Resurrection in Eugene in August and found that I preached what I needed to hear. I heard from God that sometimes I have more faith in my fears than in my relationship with her. I heard from the Holy Spirit that I wasn’t that person, that tax consultant any longer and part of the change was the fact that I’m older now, the fire in the belly burns for different reasons. All of us go through times of loss of identity with job changes, illness, divorce, death, and aging. It’s just hit me hard because I haven’t had much practice in big shifts that I sought out.
With time in prayer and in conversation with Kathleen, I came to Berkeley in good shape. Now with some time in Berkeley, I’m seeing the arc of the pieces of my identity that are staying with me, which, of course are the major and central pieces of who I am. I’m also now ready to set aside several identity pieces that no longer fit. Much of what I was feeling grief about is still a part of me but in a new configuration. I stayed present to the process I’ve been experiencing and I think I’ve found a newly arranged set of skills to handle this type of grieving process.
And I have a new desk in Berkeley full of office supplies and school tools and new/old friends to be my colleagues, so I am feeling more grounded.
Once at a personal growth seminar, the leader posed the scenario of ‘what would be the first things you would do if plunked down with a small nest egg in an English speaking city unknown to you?’ My first thought was I would get business cards printed and then find a place to sleep and work. My work as a tax consultant and financial advisor has been central to my identity. For 35 years, I’ve had a desk filled with the tools of my trade.
Two years ago, I transferred the ownership of the bulk of my practice to my daughter, Susan. Yet the transfer of the business felt like it was paperwork primarily and the clients and I continued to work together without change. Now with me in Berkeley, Susan will move the offices around and I will no longer have my own office. I cleaned out my desk in August. It was very difficult. I am still involved in the business, working remotely from Berkeley, still talking with clients. However, at a distance, and not as my primary focus.
I wonder if it is harder to seek ordination when the life before was good and well developed. I have always loved my work even though, of course, it is sometimes hard and problematic as work often is. Why this seeking?
My life is/was good—a partner who loves me and whom I love, two children who are finding their own ways as adults, a dog of perfection to remind me of God’s love for creation—myself included, work that was of service, personally satisfying and met my economic needs, a faith community that was nourishing me and hopefully I was nourishing them. With a life so rich and satisfying, why was I called to spend so much money and so much time changing everything? Grief and fear kissed each other, and caught me in their embrace.
I’ve thought about the decision to continue on this track and what the decision means to my intimate family. In some ways, I have felt comfortable making major decisions since they would only really affect me. (Oh foolish me, as if any decisions in my life only affect me.) The results of this decision are becoming clearer. I will be of less financial assistance to my children and to the organizations I have supported. My partner, Kathleen, will work several years longer and have a less secure retirement. I will not do many things that had been part of my vision of my own retirement like learning to paint, traveling, and continuing to live in my current home. Kathleen and I will spend extended time away from each other. And for what? Will my work as a priest be worth it?
What was I thinking? On the other hand, perhaps this was one of the times I wasn’t thinking. That’s happened before.
Taking all these thoughts, fears, and concerns to God has helped tremendously. I had a chance to preach at Resurrection in Eugene in August and found that I preached what I needed to hear. I heard from God that sometimes I have more faith in my fears than in my relationship with her. I heard from the Holy Spirit that I wasn’t that person, that tax consultant any longer and part of the change was the fact that I’m older now, the fire in the belly burns for different reasons. All of us go through times of loss of identity with job changes, illness, divorce, death, and aging. It’s just hit me hard because I haven’t had much practice in big shifts that I sought out.
With time in prayer and in conversation with Kathleen, I came to Berkeley in good shape. Now with some time in Berkeley, I’m seeing the arc of the pieces of my identity that are staying with me, which, of course are the major and central pieces of who I am. I’m also now ready to set aside several identity pieces that no longer fit. Much of what I was feeling grief about is still a part of me but in a new configuration. I stayed present to the process I’ve been experiencing and I think I’ve found a newly arranged set of skills to handle this type of grieving process.
And I have a new desk in Berkeley full of office supplies and school tools and new/old friends to be my colleagues, so I am feeling more grounded.
Friday, October 8, 2010
My Preaching Class
Our class is held in the chapel at the Dominican School of Philosophy and Theology so we understand that there is no "pretend" preaching. My professor, Father Serge Propst, self describes as dyslexic and somewhat autistic, a fly fisher, and a lover of the church and St. John Chrysostom, Archbishop of Constantinople. Chrysostom, an Early Church Father, is known for his eloquence in preaching and public speaking, his denunciation of abuse of authority by both ecclesiastical and political leaders, the Divine Liturgy attributed to him, and his ascetic sensibilities. He was given the Greek surname chrysostomos, meaning "golden mouthed", rendered in English as Chrysostom.
My classmates are seven young men, three in robes, and all about my son, Sean's age. And me. I was a little intimidated until I realized that most of their future congregations are going to be women just like me.
Here are some of my notes from the first class that outline Father Serge's understanding of preaching. As a Dominican priest, he has spent his professional life preaching through out the world, including working with Mother Teresa in Calcutta.
My classmates are seven young men, three in robes, and all about my son, Sean's age. And me. I was a little intimidated until I realized that most of their future congregations are going to be women just like me.
Here are some of my notes from the first class that outline Father Serge's understanding of preaching. As a Dominican priest, he has spent his professional life preaching through out the world, including working with Mother Teresa in Calcutta.
Preaching is not public speaking; the focus is on Jesus, with the goal to create an encounter with Jesus in the proclamation of the sacred text. The preacher and the listener are transfigured by the embrace of love/grace. This s a personal and public witness on one’s faith—intimate revelation of one’s faith, vulnerable to acceptance or rejection. Your life is an example of your preaching and your personal transformation through the Word. After the third week of class we will preach every week!So far this class has been wonderful. Father Serge first wanted us to work on our 'proclamation' skills. He sees this as the first step in preaching--to be able to read the text effectively to the congregation. So he assigned each of us three texts: a sort children's book Ollie the Eel, the poem by Shelley, Ozymandias, and part of a sermon by St. John Chrysostom. We then presented then to the class. It was fun and, of course, we were all nervous. I will preach my first sermon to the class on Tuesday, 10-12-10. I'll post a copy and let you know what feedback I receive.
Jesus is there--dynamic, active, the event, the encounter. Preaching speaks from heart to heart. You must preach what you are devoted to, the goal is touching hearts. It is meaning making, experienced, embodied and shared. St. John defines salvation as knowing Jesus, constant interaction. We must mix it up with Jesus, with prayer as the Cuisinart, to make salsa. Preaching is an invitation to prayer in this way.
Faith is strengthened when it is given to others. Preaching is a salvific act, transformative, an embrace of love.
Prayer is a dialogue with Jesus. Preaching is a dialogue with each other about the meaning. It should always be followed by celebration, in blessing, sharing food, and experiencing joy.
In Preparation: must feel the need of the congregation in ourselves, see our own capacity for sin, for need, then we must encounter the text, watch for the possibility of transformation, catalyst—how—where. When the text is proclaimed the person and the Holy Spirit remember together, the Holy Spirit remembers with us, in the eternal now.
In the Liturgy, it is the primacy of meaning, not the primacy of performance. Father Serge definition of paganism is emphasis on doing the rite correctly regardless of meaning, that this is central to pagan practice. Preaching is where the grace of the text meets the need in the person, the need in the congregation. This is grace encountering a concrete need. We should never separate the preaching from the text.
Keep a sharp eye on the agenda-who’s is it. Do not suppress the meaning of the text. Avoid baldly or badly proclaiming the text. Do not fail to connect the grace with the need, remember we may need to awaken ourselves to the need, i.e. bigotry, Make it bread fresh from the oven. Do not give God’s people stale left overs. When you do, you are neglecting the people you are preaching to, including yourself.
Ember Days
Ember Days, 2010-2011
Canon III.8.5 (i) states, "Each Postulant or Candidate for ordination to the Priesthood shall communicate with the Bishop in person or by letter, four times a year, in the Ember Weeks, reflecting on the Candidate's academic experience and personal and spiritual development.” The Canons are the body of laws and regulations made by or adopted by the Episcopal Church for governance of the organization and its members.
Four times a year I send our Bishop a brief update on how I am doing on the journey. So we might ask:
What are Ember Days? Here’s what I’ve gathered from several places on the internet.
This ancient celebration may have roots in pre-Christian celebrations of sowing, growing, and harvesting crops. Some scholars point to specific Celtic origins, linked to the Celtic custom of observing various festivals at three-month intervals: Imbolc, Beltane, Lughnasadh, and Samhain. These festivals we see today as Candlemas and St. Brigit’s Day for Imbolc, May Day for Beltane, state fairs celebrating the harvest in August for Lughnasadh, and Halloween for Samhain. Some point to Roman festivals, where we implored the gods to bless food production-what can be more basic than food: one in summer for harvest, one in autumn for the vintage, and one in winter for the coming planting of seeds. By the second century, Christians in Rome had baptized these observances and sometime (probably in the third century) a balancing fourth was added for spring. When the church calendar was first developing, the major feasts were Easter, Pentecost, and Ember Days. We didn’t yet celebrate Christmas or Advent, and Lent was just emerging.
By the fifth century, Ember Saturdays became the quarterly dates for the ordination of deacons and priests. The Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays became days of fasting and supplication not just for the earth, but also for the Church, for its ministers and ministry. They became a time to pray for the Church.
As the church calendar continued to develop Ember Days receded as Advent, All Saints, and Trinity Sunday, joined Advent and Lent as major hubs of the church’s year.
I think Ember Days historically represented a special ascetical effort at the beginning of each of the four seasons. This effort took the form especially of the triad already recommended in the Old Testament: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. At the same time, the days were days of thanksgiving for the various seasonal harvests; from the fifth century on they also served for the preparation and conferral of holy orders. In our own times, they have been revitalized to some extent, and in some countries, as days of prayer for vocations to the priesthood and religious life.
When are Ember Days? In the Episcopal Church the Ember Days are the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after the First Sunday in Lent, after the Day of Pentecost, after Holy Cross Day (September 14), and after the Feast of St. Lucy (December 13).
The Ember Days this fall and next spring are:
2010 September 15, 17, and 18 (the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after Holy Cross Day)
2010 December 15, 17, and 18 (the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after December 13)
2011 March 16, 18, 19 (the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after the First Sunday in Lent)
2011 June 15, 17, 18 (the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after Pentecost)
Canon III.8.5 (i) states, "Each Postulant or Candidate for ordination to the Priesthood shall communicate with the Bishop in person or by letter, four times a year, in the Ember Weeks, reflecting on the Candidate's academic experience and personal and spiritual development.” The Canons are the body of laws and regulations made by or adopted by the Episcopal Church for governance of the organization and its members.
Four times a year I send our Bishop a brief update on how I am doing on the journey. So we might ask:
What are Ember Days? Here’s what I’ve gathered from several places on the internet.
This ancient celebration may have roots in pre-Christian celebrations of sowing, growing, and harvesting crops. Some scholars point to specific Celtic origins, linked to the Celtic custom of observing various festivals at three-month intervals: Imbolc, Beltane, Lughnasadh, and Samhain. These festivals we see today as Candlemas and St. Brigit’s Day for Imbolc, May Day for Beltane, state fairs celebrating the harvest in August for Lughnasadh, and Halloween for Samhain. Some point to Roman festivals, where we implored the gods to bless food production-what can be more basic than food: one in summer for harvest, one in autumn for the vintage, and one in winter for the coming planting of seeds. By the second century, Christians in Rome had baptized these observances and sometime (probably in the third century) a balancing fourth was added for spring. When the church calendar was first developing, the major feasts were Easter, Pentecost, and Ember Days. We didn’t yet celebrate Christmas or Advent, and Lent was just emerging.
By the fifth century, Ember Saturdays became the quarterly dates for the ordination of deacons and priests. The Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays became days of fasting and supplication not just for the earth, but also for the Church, for its ministers and ministry. They became a time to pray for the Church.
As the church calendar continued to develop Ember Days receded as Advent, All Saints, and Trinity Sunday, joined Advent and Lent as major hubs of the church’s year.
I think Ember Days historically represented a special ascetical effort at the beginning of each of the four seasons. This effort took the form especially of the triad already recommended in the Old Testament: prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. At the same time, the days were days of thanksgiving for the various seasonal harvests; from the fifth century on they also served for the preparation and conferral of holy orders. In our own times, they have been revitalized to some extent, and in some countries, as days of prayer for vocations to the priesthood and religious life.
When are Ember Days? In the Episcopal Church the Ember Days are the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after the First Sunday in Lent, after the Day of Pentecost, after Holy Cross Day (September 14), and after the Feast of St. Lucy (December 13).
The Ember Days this fall and next spring are:
2010 September 15, 17, and 18 (the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after Holy Cross Day)
2010 December 15, 17, and 18 (the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after December 13)
2011 March 16, 18, 19 (the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after the First Sunday in Lent)
2011 June 15, 17, 18 (the Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday after Pentecost)
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Orientation at CDSP, Church Divinity School of the Pacific
Well, here I am at 60, with new braces and I’ve left for college. Do you think I’m living my life backwards? Aren’t braces and college something for your late teens or early twenties? Maybe I’ll be only 50 when I finish this program next June! Just like Benjamin Button.
CDSP, the Episcopal Seminary of the West, welcomed 25 or so entering students last week. Orientation was all day Monday through Thursday with some breaks but according to some new students [me], not quite enough. Each morning we met in small groups for Morning Prayer and Lectio Divina. Lectio Divina is a ‘holy reading’ of scripture, a slow reading of scripture with time for reflection in the group. You can learn more about Lectio Divina at http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/Catholic/2000/08/How-To-Practice-Lectio-Divina.aspx.
After praying together, we learned about the registration process, how to order books, where the dining hall, chapel, and classrooms are. We learned who would be our academic advisor and we scheduled meetings. I have a new student ID card, a new library card, and a meal card for the dining hall. Each night we came together for evening prayer and a meal. In addition to the information on how CDSP works, we also heard from the professors on a wide variety of topics— such as making the most of our time at CDSP, keeping body and soul together, spiritual formation, and how to create a rule of life. During the week, CDSP offers 14 worship services and after training, we students will participate in them. We are not required to attend every service but we are expected to participate as fully as possible. We are expected to show up when we are on the service rota. It is probably a good idea to observe the people who have our roles in action several times before it’s our turn to serve.
As you can tell, the four days were packed with information and meetings. On Thursday evening we had a community wide BBQ that was fun and I was glad to see the end of the meetings. The professors, staff, and students pray, eat, and socialize with each other. I could see the beginnings of community forming in front of my eyes. The seeds of friendship and companionship are planted and sprouting. I’m curious who will be my buddies by the end of the semester. What alliances and closeness will grow from these four days together? I’m intrigued with what the future holds.
CDSP, the Episcopal Seminary of the West, welcomed 25 or so entering students last week. Orientation was all day Monday through Thursday with some breaks but according to some new students [me], not quite enough. Each morning we met in small groups for Morning Prayer and Lectio Divina. Lectio Divina is a ‘holy reading’ of scripture, a slow reading of scripture with time for reflection in the group. You can learn more about Lectio Divina at http://www.beliefnet.com/Faiths/Christianity/Catholic/2000/08/How-To-Practice-Lectio-Divina.aspx.
After praying together, we learned about the registration process, how to order books, where the dining hall, chapel, and classrooms are. We learned who would be our academic advisor and we scheduled meetings. I have a new student ID card, a new library card, and a meal card for the dining hall. Each night we came together for evening prayer and a meal. In addition to the information on how CDSP works, we also heard from the professors on a wide variety of topics— such as making the most of our time at CDSP, keeping body and soul together, spiritual formation, and how to create a rule of life. During the week, CDSP offers 14 worship services and after training, we students will participate in them. We are not required to attend every service but we are expected to participate as fully as possible. We are expected to show up when we are on the service rota. It is probably a good idea to observe the people who have our roles in action several times before it’s our turn to serve.
As you can tell, the four days were packed with information and meetings. On Thursday evening we had a community wide BBQ that was fun and I was glad to see the end of the meetings. The professors, staff, and students pray, eat, and socialize with each other. I could see the beginnings of community forming in front of my eyes. The seeds of friendship and companionship are planted and sprouting. I’m curious who will be my buddies by the end of the semester. What alliances and closeness will grow from these four days together? I’m intrigued with what the future holds.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Leaving Eugene, the trip to Berkeley
I ended up leaving Saturday August 28 rather than Friday 27 since I just couldn’t get enough projects done by Friday. My plan on Saturday morning was to pack the car, pick up the box of supplies and equipment from the office, run a few errands, and head down I-5. All went well until I tried to get to the office. My office was circled by the Eugene Celebration parade! No access! I tried several different approaches. No success. I guess I’ll pick up the calculator, scanner, and supplies on my fast trip home later this month. How often do the little hitches change our plans.
The drive from Eugene to Oakland went well. The weather wasn’t as hot as when I drove down in July. I missed having my Ladybug [dog friend] with me. I’m still impressed by the exit labeled ‘Easy Street and Shamrock Road’ [Exit 770]. Has anybody ever taken that exit? It is tempting to take Easy Street but that doesn’t seem to be my path.
On Sunday, I attended St. Mark’s Episcopal Church. This is the church Peter Fones+ attended while he was at CDSP and enjoyed greatly. Dr. Donn Morgan, former CDSP president and dean and Old Testament scholar, now living in Portland, is also a member and we talked this last Sunday. They have a strong music program as George Emblom, is their Director of Music and the Director of Chapel Music and lecturer at CSDP. For those of you who know about organs, St. Mark has a Flentrop tracker organ with dual manuals and is one of the top ten organs in the Bay Area. You can find more information about the community at St. Mark’s at their website: http://www.stmarksberkeley.org.
The drive from Eugene to Oakland went well. The weather wasn’t as hot as when I drove down in July. I missed having my Ladybug [dog friend] with me. I’m still impressed by the exit labeled ‘Easy Street and Shamrock Road’ [Exit 770]. Has anybody ever taken that exit? It is tempting to take Easy Street but that doesn’t seem to be my path.
On Sunday, I attended St. Mark’s Episcopal Church. This is the church Peter Fones+ attended while he was at CDSP and enjoyed greatly. Dr. Donn Morgan, former CDSP president and dean and Old Testament scholar, now living in Portland, is also a member and we talked this last Sunday. They have a strong music program as George Emblom, is their Director of Music and the Director of Chapel Music and lecturer at CSDP. For those of you who know about organs, St. Mark has a Flentrop tracker organ with dual manuals and is one of the top ten organs in the Bay Area. You can find more information about the community at St. Mark’s at their website: http://www.stmarksberkeley.org.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Leaving next week
Resurrection people, I’m in the last week of preparation to leave for the academic year of 2010-2011. I will do the final year of education in residence at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific, www.cdsp.edu/ that is part of the Graduate Theological Union, www.gtu.edu/.
The Graduate Theological Union is an ecumenical and interreligious institution that includes Christian denominations and other faith traditions. It is the largest partnership of seminaries and graduate schools in the United States. GTU describes itself as a haven for interdisciplinary religious thought, study, and practice, making a tangible difference for the greatest good – and serving as the place where religion meets the world.
CDSP and GTU are located in Berkeley, California on ‘Holy Hill’ adjacent to University of California Berkeley. I’ll have access to nine theological seminaries and eleven centers and affiliates in addition to one of the finest theological libraries in the world. Religious traditions represented at GTU include Episcopal, Baptist, L:utheran, Presbyterian, Catholic, Unitarian Universalist, Greek Orthodox, Jewish, Islamic, and Buddhist—all working together for a common mission while maintaining the distinctiveness of their particular communities of faith. GTU’s curriculum has grown beyond the traditional strengths in Bible, history, theology, and ethics to include the arts, cultural and historical studies, spirituality, and interdisciplinary studies.
I leave Friday, August 27. On August 30, I’ll participate in orientation and then classes start the week after. During the four days of orientation I will be assigned an academic advisor and meet with her or him, meet with incoming seminarians, register for classes, worship, learn about how to access GTU’s great library, learn about how CDSP works, have photo id created, attend a welcoming tea, dinner with advisors, and two BBQs. Good thing these folks want us to come together each day for meals. I think that really creates community and I’ll find out if Berkeley’s foodie reputation is deserved. Orientation will also teach me how to make the most of my time at CDSP.
Since I leave in just a few days, my anxiety level is up again. July in Oakland and Berkeley answered many questions for me such as—will I be able to find my way around, where is the most convenient place to buy diet Pepsi, where will I sleep, will I be able to find a place to worship, can I manage to pump my own gas. Now that I know some of the basics that are ahead, I am turning to some interior work. I realize that I’m experiencing grief at letting go of my Eugene self. The change of identity seems to be at the core of my grieving. While I remain confident that this journey is the right journey for me, I know that this coming school year will change my life. Life changing events are difficult even when it is exactly what you want. Remember the weeks before your marriage or birth of a child. Perhaps this is harder when your former life was solid and good. I have been content in my work, my partner, and my community life. Spiritually I have been able to grow and learn over the years supported by you, our community, and wonderful teachers. Yet, off I go and I wonder if the disruption is worth it. Is this where Jesus tells us to count the cost of discipleship?
Somehow, I don’t think that ‘counting the cost’ can mean figuring out in advance how costly discipleship is. Who could? I didn’t have a clue what going to church would end up meaning to me. I didn’t understand those first times I came to church or even after several years. All of us seem to stumble into belief, naive and uninformed. How could we possibly know? I’m counting on God to take me through this process and fill me with what I need. I try not to look to far ahead since it looks too scary. I want to believe God can give me what it takes to make the journey. If Jesus is saying, "don't start something you can't finish”? I hope not since I’m unsure that I can finish. I can worry about the finish when I get there. I am sure that I don’t have what it takes. Since I don’t have what it takes to make my life and this journey successful, I’m going to try to turn in trust to the One who does.
The Graduate Theological Union is an ecumenical and interreligious institution that includes Christian denominations and other faith traditions. It is the largest partnership of seminaries and graduate schools in the United States. GTU describes itself as a haven for interdisciplinary religious thought, study, and practice, making a tangible difference for the greatest good – and serving as the place where religion meets the world.
CDSP and GTU are located in Berkeley, California on ‘Holy Hill’ adjacent to University of California Berkeley. I’ll have access to nine theological seminaries and eleven centers and affiliates in addition to one of the finest theological libraries in the world. Religious traditions represented at GTU include Episcopal, Baptist, L:utheran, Presbyterian, Catholic, Unitarian Universalist, Greek Orthodox, Jewish, Islamic, and Buddhist—all working together for a common mission while maintaining the distinctiveness of their particular communities of faith. GTU’s curriculum has grown beyond the traditional strengths in Bible, history, theology, and ethics to include the arts, cultural and historical studies, spirituality, and interdisciplinary studies.
I leave Friday, August 27. On August 30, I’ll participate in orientation and then classes start the week after. During the four days of orientation I will be assigned an academic advisor and meet with her or him, meet with incoming seminarians, register for classes, worship, learn about how to access GTU’s great library, learn about how CDSP works, have photo id created, attend a welcoming tea, dinner with advisors, and two BBQs. Good thing these folks want us to come together each day for meals. I think that really creates community and I’ll find out if Berkeley’s foodie reputation is deserved. Orientation will also teach me how to make the most of my time at CDSP.
Since I leave in just a few days, my anxiety level is up again. July in Oakland and Berkeley answered many questions for me such as—will I be able to find my way around, where is the most convenient place to buy diet Pepsi, where will I sleep, will I be able to find a place to worship, can I manage to pump my own gas. Now that I know some of the basics that are ahead, I am turning to some interior work. I realize that I’m experiencing grief at letting go of my Eugene self. The change of identity seems to be at the core of my grieving. While I remain confident that this journey is the right journey for me, I know that this coming school year will change my life. Life changing events are difficult even when it is exactly what you want. Remember the weeks before your marriage or birth of a child. Perhaps this is harder when your former life was solid and good. I have been content in my work, my partner, and my community life. Spiritually I have been able to grow and learn over the years supported by you, our community, and wonderful teachers. Yet, off I go and I wonder if the disruption is worth it. Is this where Jesus tells us to count the cost of discipleship?
Somehow, I don’t think that ‘counting the cost’ can mean figuring out in advance how costly discipleship is. Who could? I didn’t have a clue what going to church would end up meaning to me. I didn’t understand those first times I came to church or even after several years. All of us seem to stumble into belief, naive and uninformed. How could we possibly know? I’m counting on God to take me through this process and fill me with what I need. I try not to look to far ahead since it looks too scary. I want to believe God can give me what it takes to make the journey. If Jesus is saying, "don't start something you can't finish”? I hope not since I’m unsure that I can finish. I can worry about the finish when I get there. I am sure that I don’t have what it takes. Since I don’t have what it takes to make my life and this journey successful, I’m going to try to turn in trust to the One who does.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Kamikaze Greek, Cold California, and Computer Challenges, July 2010
My dog and I packed up July 8 and had a leisurely trip to Oakland. Kathleen helped me pack up my little red Yaris, a small Toyota that resembles a roller skate. My dog, Lady, and I had not taken a long road trip together before so I was looking for an adventure. The trip was easy and we stopped at lots of rest areas. I knew the weather was going to be hot so I put bottles half filled with water in the freezer. When I filled them up with water, they stayed cool and provided us with chilled drinks. Silly, but I’m always so proud of myself when a good idea actually works.
I did almost turn off on the exit labeled ‘Easy Street, Shamrock Road’ that’s just before Yreka. Someday I’ll have to take that exit and see where it leads! A number of large trucks had two arrow shaped bumper stickers on their rear panel. The one on the left read “Passing Side” with the arrow pointing to side one would pass and the one arrow was labeled “Suicide” with a letter pointing to the right. Say it aloud and you’ll figure it out.
My friends, Sharon and Monza, welcomed Lady and me with a handmade sign [very sweet] and they are providing me with lovely accommodations. I have a large bedroom—bigger than any at our home—with a study attached and a walk in closet. The queen size bed is comfortable and there are many windows. As soon as Susan shows me how to do it, I’ll post pictures. They have a big lovely stucco Craftsman style home in the Rockridge area of Oakland. On College Avenue at the end of the block, there must be 40 restaurants within walking distance interspersed with hair salons, bookstores, bakeries, and bead shops. These restaurants range from Zachary’s Chicago Pizza, which often has a line out the door, to Thai, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, pasta, crepes, yuppie elegance, and a greasy spoon. I think I’ll try one a week during the fall and spring semesters.
Cold California
I was shocked to find the weather rather chilly. I took tank tops and short sleeve blouses only to freeze in them. I only had one long sleeve shirt, one sweater, and one sweatshirt. They all saw double duty. Mornings at Pacific Lutheran Theological School were overcast, often misty marine air, and about 65 degrees and sometimes in the 50s.. Not what I expected. Many afternoons were sunny and lovely but in the low 70s. From my perspective, 72 is an ideal temperature for a light jacket and not tank top weather. I’m taking warmer clothes with me when I return at the end of August.
Computer Challenges
Susan was still working on my computer when I left and she couldn’t send it to me until mid-July. I was without internet connection, e-mail, or the ability to work. Over my first weekend there, this was not a problem as I had plenty to occupy me just settling in. As Greek started I was captivated by the homework. Yet it was worrisome. I was stunned to find out that I am really dependent on the internet and my computer. I’ve joked that I could do just fine if you plunked me down in an English speaking town and I had hot running water and a way to make heat [for warmth and cooking food]. These seemed to be the bare essentials. I now have to add high-speed internet connection! I ended up going 30 days without access to my e-mail. I hated it. Lucky for me, Sharon had two people to recommend and they are working with Susan to create a VPN, which stands for virtual private network. This is a very secure remote access to our local intranet at the office. The VPN is not yet up and running. I think we should create a series of prayers for computer systems, computer wizards and the people that have to interface with them. Please hold my computer problems in your prayers.
Kamikaze Greek is a good description of the biblical Greek class. We were in class from 8.45 until 12.00 everyday with daily quizzes. The homework was thorough which is not exactly my favorite type of homework. It was hard. Very hard. Gary Pence, our professor, was supportive and encouraging but for some reason he couldn’t help me actually memorize the 40 forms of you, he, she, it, and I. I’m so glad that I took the summer class. If I had taken it during the year, I would have found other homework and studies to do and I would have never done the homework. It was the hardest class in my entire life! I did learn the basics of translation. I know how to use the tools available but I did not memorize well. I was sorry not to discover some hidden talent for language acquisition. And the class is over and I don’t think I have any more requirements in Greek. Maybe down the road I’ll be part of a group that would like to learn Greek for New Testament studies.
I did almost turn off on the exit labeled ‘Easy Street, Shamrock Road’ that’s just before Yreka. Someday I’ll have to take that exit and see where it leads! A number of large trucks had two arrow shaped bumper stickers on their rear panel. The one on the left read “Passing Side” with the arrow pointing to side one would pass and the one arrow was labeled “Suicide” with a letter pointing to the right. Say it aloud and you’ll figure it out.
My friends, Sharon and Monza, welcomed Lady and me with a handmade sign [very sweet] and they are providing me with lovely accommodations. I have a large bedroom—bigger than any at our home—with a study attached and a walk in closet. The queen size bed is comfortable and there are many windows. As soon as Susan shows me how to do it, I’ll post pictures. They have a big lovely stucco Craftsman style home in the Rockridge area of Oakland. On College Avenue at the end of the block, there must be 40 restaurants within walking distance interspersed with hair salons, bookstores, bakeries, and bead shops. These restaurants range from Zachary’s Chicago Pizza, which often has a line out the door, to Thai, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, pasta, crepes, yuppie elegance, and a greasy spoon. I think I’ll try one a week during the fall and spring semesters.
Cold California
I was shocked to find the weather rather chilly. I took tank tops and short sleeve blouses only to freeze in them. I only had one long sleeve shirt, one sweater, and one sweatshirt. They all saw double duty. Mornings at Pacific Lutheran Theological School were overcast, often misty marine air, and about 65 degrees and sometimes in the 50s.. Not what I expected. Many afternoons were sunny and lovely but in the low 70s. From my perspective, 72 is an ideal temperature for a light jacket and not tank top weather. I’m taking warmer clothes with me when I return at the end of August.
Computer Challenges
Susan was still working on my computer when I left and she couldn’t send it to me until mid-July. I was without internet connection, e-mail, or the ability to work. Over my first weekend there, this was not a problem as I had plenty to occupy me just settling in. As Greek started I was captivated by the homework. Yet it was worrisome. I was stunned to find out that I am really dependent on the internet and my computer. I’ve joked that I could do just fine if you plunked me down in an English speaking town and I had hot running water and a way to make heat [for warmth and cooking food]. These seemed to be the bare essentials. I now have to add high-speed internet connection! I ended up going 30 days without access to my e-mail. I hated it. Lucky for me, Sharon had two people to recommend and they are working with Susan to create a VPN, which stands for virtual private network. This is a very secure remote access to our local intranet at the office. The VPN is not yet up and running. I think we should create a series of prayers for computer systems, computer wizards and the people that have to interface with them. Please hold my computer problems in your prayers.
Kamikaze Greek is a good description of the biblical Greek class. We were in class from 8.45 until 12.00 everyday with daily quizzes. The homework was thorough which is not exactly my favorite type of homework. It was hard. Very hard. Gary Pence, our professor, was supportive and encouraging but for some reason he couldn’t help me actually memorize the 40 forms of you, he, she, it, and I. I’m so glad that I took the summer class. If I had taken it during the year, I would have found other homework and studies to do and I would have never done the homework. It was the hardest class in my entire life! I did learn the basics of translation. I know how to use the tools available but I did not memorize well. I was sorry not to discover some hidden talent for language acquisition. And the class is over and I don’t think I have any more requirements in Greek. Maybe down the road I’ll be part of a group that would like to learn Greek for New Testament studies.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
July 4th at Resurrection
Dear Friends,
Thank you so much for the check of $2,900 today from my home church, Resurrection. I've also received direct contributions of $300. And I received $535 from St. John's on Pentecost plus a wonderful reference book, The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church. I deeply appreciate your support and your blessings.
I am in a panic about leaving, in that difficult space between knowing that I'm doing what I should be doing, and wishing that I didn't have to go. I think I am mourning the changes in my life even though I believe in my call. How difficult to mourn changes that I want.
I'm leaving early on Thursday morning, July 8th. My wonder dog, Ladybug, is going with me so I won't be lonely for quality company. Kathleen has promised to help me pack my little red car for me Wednesday night. She has great spatial skills. I will be online again by Sunday night I hope. Classes begin on Monday July 12th.
I'm only taking Biblical Greek this summer. Class is 8.30 to 12.30 Monday through Friday with homework plus daily quizzes. I plan to create a routine early to keep up with class and dog walkies. I've found several dog parks within walking distance from where I am staying. Thanks goodness for Google search.
Thank you, thank you Resurrection and St. John the Divine. I appreciate your support and affirmation of my call. May you experience the love I've received from you.
Anxious Nancy
Thank you so much for the check of $2,900 today from my home church, Resurrection. I've also received direct contributions of $300. And I received $535 from St. John's on Pentecost plus a wonderful reference book, The Oxford Dictionary of the Christian Church. I deeply appreciate your support and your blessings.
I am in a panic about leaving, in that difficult space between knowing that I'm doing what I should be doing, and wishing that I didn't have to go. I think I am mourning the changes in my life even though I believe in my call. How difficult to mourn changes that I want.
I'm leaving early on Thursday morning, July 8th. My wonder dog, Ladybug, is going with me so I won't be lonely for quality company. Kathleen has promised to help me pack my little red car for me Wednesday night. She has great spatial skills. I will be online again by Sunday night I hope. Classes begin on Monday July 12th.
I'm only taking Biblical Greek this summer. Class is 8.30 to 12.30 Monday through Friday with homework plus daily quizzes. I plan to create a routine early to keep up with class and dog walkies. I've found several dog parks within walking distance from where I am staying. Thanks goodness for Google search.
Thank you, thank you Resurrection and St. John the Divine. I appreciate your support and affirmation of my call. May you experience the love I've received from you.
Anxious Nancy
What Are the Next Steps?
What Are the Next Steps?
It is with gratitude and joy that I report to you that I have been accepted as a candidate for Holy Orders by the Commission on Ministry and the Standing Committee of the Diocese of Oregon! These two groups interviewed me on May 13 and graciously moved me to the next step on this journey to ordination. The Reverend Peter Fones, Priest in Charge at St. John’s in Springfield, kindly traveled with me to Salem and helped me manage my nerves with advice and affirmations!
I have also finished my third year of long distance learning at the Northwest House of Theological Studies [NHTS], completing 13 of the 24 courses required by the Masters of Divinity program at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific [CDSP]. I am enrolled at CDSP and my courses at NHTS will transfer. I’ve also completed three courses onine at CDSP.
A little background: CDSP is the Episcopal seminary located in Berkeley, CA and part of the Graduate Theological Union [GTU]. GTU is the largest and most diverse partnership of seminaries and graduate schools in the United States, pursuing inter-religious collaboration in teaching, research, ministry, and service. It is a consortium of 9 seminaries and 11 centers of study.
On July 8, I go to Berkeley to the Pacific Luther Theological Seminary, a part of the Graduate Theological Union, for a summer intensive class in biblical Greek for three week. After coming home on August 4, I will return to CDSP for the 2010-2011 academic year on August 27.
I will take the General Ordination Exam [GOE] in January 2011 [January 4-8]. The GOE is an examination given annually by the Episcopal Church to all candidates for ordination. The purpose of the GOE is evaluative and advisory. It assists diocesan authorities in determining a candidate's readiness for ordination and, at the same time, provides to the candidate and his or her mentors valuable guidance in planning further, continuing education. The canons of the church (Title III, Canon 8, Section 5g) require that before ordination a candidate must be examined and show proficiency in:
The Holy Scriptures
Church History, including the Ecumenical Movement
Christian Theology, including Missionary Theology and Missiology
Christian Ethics and Moral Theology
Studies in Contemporary Society, including Racial and Minority Groups
Liturgics and Church Music
Theory and practice of Ministry
Each bishop decides how GOEs are regarded. Some require a certain score on each section and some don’t pay attention to the results. Does anybody know how our Bishop Michael regards GOEs?
I hope that I will do well on the GOEs and by June of 2011, I will finish the requirements for the Master of Divinity program and graduate.
I plan to return to Eugene and complete the next step, clinical pastoral education. Clinical pastoral education (CPE) is education to teach me pastoral care and is the primary way of training hospital and hospice chaplains in the United States. CPE is both a multicultural and interfaith experience that uses real-life ministry encounters of students to improve the ministry and pastoral care provided by caregivers of all different faith and cultural backgrounds. CPE is a required part of my preparation for parish ministry. I will focus on the integration of theological, psychological, and pastoral insights into pastoral functioning for parish work. Currently Eugene and Springfield do not have an accredited CPE program. I hope to do the program at Good Samaritan in Corvallis.
After I complete my CPE, I also need to complete the SAFE church training [8 hours] and the Anti-Racism training. Somewhere in this work after June 2011, I can apply for ordination as a transitional deacon. I will serve as a transitional deacon for at least 6 months. Before I request ordination to the priesthood, I will need to update my medical and psychological evaluations and my criminal background check.
My goal is to be ordained prior to qualifying for full social security benefits! This has been a long journey! I started school in the summer of 2007. There are still two years to go. I appreciate the support I’ve received and I ask for your prayers.
It is with gratitude and joy that I report to you that I have been accepted as a candidate for Holy Orders by the Commission on Ministry and the Standing Committee of the Diocese of Oregon! These two groups interviewed me on May 13 and graciously moved me to the next step on this journey to ordination. The Reverend Peter Fones, Priest in Charge at St. John’s in Springfield, kindly traveled with me to Salem and helped me manage my nerves with advice and affirmations!
I have also finished my third year of long distance learning at the Northwest House of Theological Studies [NHTS], completing 13 of the 24 courses required by the Masters of Divinity program at the Church Divinity School of the Pacific [CDSP]. I am enrolled at CDSP and my courses at NHTS will transfer. I’ve also completed three courses onine at CDSP.
A little background: CDSP is the Episcopal seminary located in Berkeley, CA and part of the Graduate Theological Union [GTU]. GTU is the largest and most diverse partnership of seminaries and graduate schools in the United States, pursuing inter-religious collaboration in teaching, research, ministry, and service. It is a consortium of 9 seminaries and 11 centers of study.
On July 8, I go to Berkeley to the Pacific Luther Theological Seminary, a part of the Graduate Theological Union, for a summer intensive class in biblical Greek for three week. After coming home on August 4, I will return to CDSP for the 2010-2011 academic year on August 27.
I will take the General Ordination Exam [GOE] in January 2011 [January 4-8]. The GOE is an examination given annually by the Episcopal Church to all candidates for ordination. The purpose of the GOE is evaluative and advisory. It assists diocesan authorities in determining a candidate's readiness for ordination and, at the same time, provides to the candidate and his or her mentors valuable guidance in planning further, continuing education. The canons of the church (Title III, Canon 8, Section 5g) require that before ordination a candidate must be examined and show proficiency in:
The Holy Scriptures
Church History, including the Ecumenical Movement
Christian Theology, including Missionary Theology and Missiology
Christian Ethics and Moral Theology
Studies in Contemporary Society, including Racial and Minority Groups
Liturgics and Church Music
Theory and practice of Ministry
Each bishop decides how GOEs are regarded. Some require a certain score on each section and some don’t pay attention to the results. Does anybody know how our Bishop Michael regards GOEs?
I hope that I will do well on the GOEs and by June of 2011, I will finish the requirements for the Master of Divinity program and graduate.
I plan to return to Eugene and complete the next step, clinical pastoral education. Clinical pastoral education (CPE) is education to teach me pastoral care and is the primary way of training hospital and hospice chaplains in the United States. CPE is both a multicultural and interfaith experience that uses real-life ministry encounters of students to improve the ministry and pastoral care provided by caregivers of all different faith and cultural backgrounds. CPE is a required part of my preparation for parish ministry. I will focus on the integration of theological, psychological, and pastoral insights into pastoral functioning for parish work. Currently Eugene and Springfield do not have an accredited CPE program. I hope to do the program at Good Samaritan in Corvallis.
After I complete my CPE, I also need to complete the SAFE church training [8 hours] and the Anti-Racism training. Somewhere in this work after June 2011, I can apply for ordination as a transitional deacon. I will serve as a transitional deacon for at least 6 months. Before I request ordination to the priesthood, I will need to update my medical and psychological evaluations and my criminal background check.
My goal is to be ordained prior to qualifying for full social security benefits! This has been a long journey! I started school in the summer of 2007. There are still two years to go. I appreciate the support I’ve received and I ask for your prayers.
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